Discouragement is Creeping In. . .

Not sure why but I am feeling rather negative today.

Sure, I stuffed my face last night at this awesome Venezuelan restaurant but I still managed to come in only 97 calories over my daily goal, so how can I have gained SO much weight over the past week?  I have been consistently coming in UNDER my daily calories for weeks and only  have a day or 2 I go over, but no more than once a week?  I have always told myself with my lifestyle change that I would NOT deprive myself but eat healthy 90% of the time and give myself a break the other 10%.

Speaking of healthy, haven’t been doing too great there either so I am sure this is a cumulative effect.  I have no idea why it is so tough for me to regularly incorporate fruits and veggies into my diet, especially this time of year when they are so plentiful and delicious!  It has been a couple of weeks since my regular piece or serving of fruit a day and adding more veggies to my plate than meat. Does turning peaches into crisp or cherries into pie count?  Yeah, I didn’t think so.

Cherry Pie

I try not to be so hard on myself – I have kept up regular workouts, 5 or 6 times a week, getting back into boot camp has been fabulous (my legs and butt are STILL sore from Wednesdays workout!) and even started back at our Thursday lunch time walking group (which consisted of ME this week).  But it isn’t enough to enjoy the foods I want and not keep that scale creeping up slowly but surely.

I’m also feeling rather lazy, not as ambitious as maybe I should be.  I stumbled across this blog on my Pinterest page and cannot believe what this girl has turned her blog into – a money making machine with all kinds of sponsors and products.  I’m a good writer, I could do something like this, right?  And it isn’t like she has some amazing talent like fashion design, home decorating, baking or mommy tips – she is just a 29 year old girl, whose interests and passions sound so incredibly similar to mine yet here I sit, 41 years old, typing away on this keyboard for mostly my own amusement.  Did I go into this with the intention of getting paid?  Of course not, I just like to write and help others in the process, if I can – to share my experiences to give others ideas, isn’t that what social media is pretty much all about?

I don’t know – feeling overwhelmed with all the events on my plate for the rest of July too.  They are all fun stuff – gatherings and dinner with great friends, trying delicious food, drinking wonderful wine, laughing, talking but a nagging little voice keeps popping up telling me how selfish and lazy that is.  “Your parents are going to be here less than a month and this house is a PIT!  Your dad is going to freak out when he sees the cat hair floating around the corners, the crazy dirty coffee pot and kitty litter crumbs on the basement area rug.”

I had a glorious Friday night planned out for myself. . .I looked back on my calendar and realized I haven’t spent a Friday night at home alone in over TWELVE WEEKS!  How the hell did that happen??  How does any of it happen?  I am incredibly blessed with amazing friends and family that love to get together and do things so when they ask, I do.  But tonight, I kept it wide open just for me.  I was going to get some errands run (out of chap stick for over a week!), get some take out and a good girly movie and curl up with a glass of wine but then I remember – I am busy pretty much all day Saturday and most of the evening Sunday, times when I get a lot of my weekly chores done.  No time for the grocery store or cooking this week, not time for cleaning, laundry will get done, if I’m lucky but I will be heading into the work week with this house looking pretty much the way it does right now, if I don’t take tonight and clean.  So, instead, I will be starting laundry, changing sheets and towels, paying bills and getting a few things ready for a baby shower tomorrow.

It’s OK, it’s all good.  First world problems, right?  I can’t even pretend like I don’t have a fabulous, incredibly blessed life but doesn’t mean that the little things don’t get you down, every now and again.  I have said it before and I will say it again, this blog isn’t called “Struggles of a Healthy Foodie” for nothing.  I am a Virgo, I will always be hard on myself, I will always expect more, I will always strive for perfection.  Luckily, I have many people around me to remind me I am far from perfect and that’s OK.  In fact, you need to relish in that sometimes.  We are all human and despite our best intentions, things don’t always go how we expect.  I will continue my daily workouts with a hard incline on the treadmill at lunch today, I will get back on the healthy food bandwagon next week after 2 indulgent days this weekend and life will go on.

I will wrap up by saying I may have overindulged last night on this delicious food pictured below but it was a soul cleansing evening, catching up with one of my best friends.  One of those conversations where you both talk at break neck speed, having so much to say and wanting to know what the other thinks as quickly as humanly possible.  We probably could have sat there for another hour and still had plenty to say.  I think evenings like that are worth a few extra calories, so thanks for that, Jen!

Spot Pork Loin arepa

Spot Pabellon

Spot pudding

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