Stitch Fix #8 (and Final)- December 2015

Well, another month, another Fix shipment. I put off receiving one in November, just because I’ve had so much luck finding clothes on my own recently and I think this Fix seals the deal. . .I am think I am done with them.

Positive things about Stitch Fix – it has taught me a LOT about fashion.  What I like, what I don’t like and all those searches on Pinterest have been invaluable to building up my wardrobe.  I have tons of fun, cute clothes I love now, some Stitch Fix, some not.  I love the surprise of delivery, never quite knowing what they might send and finding things you like you never expected you would.

The negatives?  First, it is just too darn expensive.  For instance, this Fix, I got a casual blazer that cost as much as my winter coat!  My HEAVY, super nice winter coat!  It’s just not practical to expect people to spend that much money for one piece of clothing.  Even if the quality were insanely better (which it’s not), it doesn’t matter if it just doesn’t fit in my budget.  And finally, the ever dressed fit.  So far, I am batting about 50% on fit for clothes they have sent me and this Fix, pretty much 0%.  That’s what happens – I get a box I love then one that’s a dude and it doesn’t seem to matter who the stylist is.  One that hits it out of the park one month, sucks the next.  Type A me does NOT like inconsistency.

This is Fix # 8 and I’m sorry, if their job is to be a personal stylist, I think I have given them plenty of time and information to get to know me.  Unfortunately, I guess the only one who really knows what I like and don’t like. . .is me.  So, with sadness, I present to you, my last Fix.

SF 1

SF 7

I was thrilled to see I got Hannah again.  She does a great job of describing the items and how to wear them together and with other things in your closet.  Unfortunately, we struck out on every item this month.  Let me show you why.

First up is the Absolutely Mellisa V-Neck Pullover Sweater in Jewel Tone Purple, size XS, regular price of $64.

SF 9

SF 3

First off, I adore the color but unfortunately, I adore it so much that I already have a ton of it in my closet.  I like the weave and maybe $64 isn’t THAT bad, if it fits well and is super comfy.  Not the case for me.

SF 13

I appreciate it isn’t super long but the arms are too tight for my linebacker biceps.  You can’t tell in the picture but I can barely bend my arms. . .so pretty far from comfortable.  I paired it, as Hannah suggested, with the winter white pants in the Fix, metallic heels and a statement necklace.  I have to say, an odd combo, I think.  The sweater felt way too casual to be dressed up like this.  Also, it’s winter and I am not a wear strappy sandals in 30 degree weather sort of person.  So, this one definitely will be SENT BACK.  Now, on to the pants. . .

These are RD Style Leigh Straight Leg Pants in Off-White, size XS, regular priced at a whopping $98!

SF 11

SF 5

Let me tell you what – if I am gonna pay you $98 for a pair of pants, they better have some substance and these most certainly did not.  They were so thin, a stiff breeze comes up and you would freeze and while they did have pockets, they had this weird, Sag Harbor, grandma pant thing going on with a stretchy band in the back.

SF 14

Again, winter.  Cold.  Maybe some cords would have been better?  I did ask for winter white pants but maybe should have been more specific that I was looking for business casual or casual.  Either way, these are definitely being SENT BACK too.

So, what do we have left to work with.  I was very disappointed to see a dress included in this Fix.  I did not ask for one and would have specifically requested them not to send one if I’d had more room in my Stylist Note.  I guess I should have went back to my style profile and removed dresses for the winter – since my office went casual, there really is no need for it and I am set on holiday dresses.

Still, I received this Skies Are Blue Velia Dress in Teal Green, size SP, regular price of $64.

SF 8

SF 2

Now, this is a little bit better priced item and I have to say, I have had the most luck with Stitch Fix with dresses.  Pretty much the ONLY thing I’ve had luck with them.  They usually fit better, are comfy in pretty patterns and colors but somehow, they were able to take one of my favorite colors and make it look bad, somehow.  It wasn’t flattering at all and ill fitting too.

SF 15

As you can see, once again, the top of the dress is too tall and just kind of hangs on me.  I had to hike it up so you could see I need about another 1 or 2 on me make this work.  And it’s a petite!  Totally depends on the cut of the dress though and this one isn’t it.

SF 16

It also has this weird cutout thing in the back.  I don’t think it is supposed to gap open quite that far and it just happened to hit right by the back of my bra so not sure how I personally could wear it with one.  Again, not the look I want to go for this holiday season so it too will be SENT BACK.

Now, in their defense, I did request a blazer and this is the second one they’ve sent me.  I think this one is about as odd as the first.  None of them traditional cuts, which is fine, all of them cotton rather than some kind of other material, both plain colors and an odd cut.  You be the judge.

This is the Eden Society Cales Collection Striped Knit Blazer in Light Grey, size XS, regular price of $98!

SF 10

SF 4

Is it that it doesn’t have lapels that throws me off? Or was I destined not to like it because of it’s high price tag?  It feels like sweatshirt materal, is it really worth that much money?

SF 17

Again, an odd fit on me.  The sleeves are too long and I can barely get it buttoned so it doesn’t close as much as it looks like it should from the picture above.  No more needs to be said on this one – it too is being SENT BACK.

And finally, the nail in the coffin for me – they sent me a purse.  I have never asked for a purse because I have a TON of them, all shapes and sizes in name brands so however cute they are, I just don’t need one.  So, I didn’t ask for one this Fix and they sent it anyway.  I have seen this one included in a lot of the Fix blogs I read, in various colors.

This is the Street Level Juno Small Folded Clutch in Teal Green, regular price $38.

SF 6

SF 18

SF 19

It’s super cute with lots of pockets, it’s leather (or faux leather) and has a nice long chain to wear over your shoulder messenger style.  Again, I just don’t need it but rather than lose my $20 styling fee, I think I will keep it and give it away to some lucky girl on my Christmas list!

So, there you have it, folks.  I may toy around with getting another Fix in summer, for cute summer dresses but . . .I doubt it.  It has been a fun experience getting to know this company and I think for many people, it is a valuable service but only if you are probably at least 5’2″, find a stylist that REALLY gets you and your build and are willing to spend a lot more money than me!

I hope you have enjoyed my posts and I know I will be sorry to see them go as much as you but I will still post from time to time on my style adventures elsewhere.  I will still check out Pinterest for tips, trends and outfits and plan to recreate them here for you!

Also, I haven’t posted any updates on Eat To Perform in a while and there is good reason.  I have chucked it out the window.  Done.  Fine.  I will post more details on that soon!


Mortified, Petrified and Vilified

I sit here this morning with so many emotions – fear, angry, shame and I can’t help the tears from running down my face.

I work hard.  I may not be perfect but I work harder than the average person, I think.  I watch what I eat every single day, I work out 4-5 times a week, if not more, I eat good, quality, healthy food.  And yet, despite all that hard work that I’ve been doing every week of my life for the past 10 years, here I sit, a whopping 7 pounds heavier than when I start this year.

I haven’t been this heavy in . . .I honestly can’t remember the last time.  Before I started this journey, back in 2005?  I had ballooned up to a weight I was not happy with and in hindsight, sure, it was a LOT heavier than this.  I was wearing size 10 clothes at the time and on my way to a size 12.  Is there anything wrong with that size?  NO but it was not the size I felt comfortable at, felt healthy at, felt I could maintain long term and be able to do all I wanted to do.  I was 31 at the time and I sat down with my husband and he created a plan for me that changed my life.  It took about year, from start to finish but since then, for the most part, I have enjoyed an active, comfortable life.

Something in me has changed.  I feel like an alien has invaded my body and no matter what I do, there is no stopping it.  I have killed myself for months now, trying to adjust different things in my diet, my workouts to stop this from happening and no matter what I do, it just keeps getting worse.  6 of these 7 pounds has come on, just since August but WHY?  Every morning, after a particular good workout or eating day, I get on that scale, looking down at the number, just praying for ONCE, it starts to go down and every day, it stays the same or just keep creeping higher.  Today was the highest number yet, a whole pound up this week, again and I just sat down and sobbed.

My clothes are starting to not fit – oh!  All of the beautiful, gorgeous clothes I have bought over this past year.  I go into my closet now and smile, knowing I don’t have the same 3 outfits I need to wear over and over again, NO!  I have a dozen pretty outfits to choose from now and it was so much fun trying them all on for you, for my friends and putting them all together.  I have never done that before and it felt great.

Now, I am desperately close to losing all of them.  I have a company Christmas party tonight and dresses I’ve bought over the past year or two I had hoped to wear and in the back of my mind, I know they probably won’t fit me now.  I just want to go into a room, turn out all the lights, crawl into a ball and never come out.

The question that keeps screaming in the back of my mind is WHY?  Why is this happening and why is this happening now?  Yes, I changed my diet to Eat to Perform and let me tell you that is going out the window this minute.  I still think it’s a good idea to strive for higher protein and lower carbs but 2 months of doing that, according to their plan and look what’s happened to me??  Obviously, my body is not responding and I need to stop jamming protein and calories into it, waiting for it to achieve some magical balance that is going to make me, all of a sudden, shred tons of body fat.

But then what do I do?  I am SO sick of tracking my calories, especially when I see them climbing for the day and know I probably shouldn’t have more but my poor stomach is growling, growling, GROWLING so loud, I can barely hear myself think.  I choose healthy things – an apple, a piece of cheese but sometimes, like yesterday, I choose crackers but only a whopping 130 calories worth of crackers.  Carbs can’t kill you, right?

I have becoming scared of food because I don’t understand, for the life of me, what it is doing to my body.  I don’t know what to eat anymore, I don’t know how much of it to eat, I don’t know what workouts to do when I used to be so sure of myself.  I loved the compliments of, oh wow, you look so great and I was proud, not because they said it but because I knew how hard I had worked to achieve it.  Now, despite all the work, it feels like I’m doing nothing at all.

You may be reading this thinking I’m incredibly narcissistic to go on and on about my appearance and my weight but as women, we are programmed to care, a lot about it.  As one of my male Facebook friends pointed out, when the recent Annie Leibovitz picture of Amy Schumer came out – how skinny a women is doesn’t make her sexy, but her confidence, at any size, does and right now, my confidence is utterly and completely shattered.   My workouts are getting tougher because I am heavier – last night, on the treadmill, I couldn’t even get myself to do the short sprints I had been testing out because my legs were SO sore from boot camp class the night before and I felt SO incredibly heavy. I feel like I am trying to carry around someone I don’t know.  My body isn’t used to it. . .and I don’t want it to get used to it.

So, what’s the answer?  Do I go to the doctor and get checked out?  I didn’t have any blood work done this year, like I normally would because my company did away with their annual in house screening.  Do I get back on the herbs I started taking in October last year?  I have already contacted my herbalist and she is rustling something up for me.  Last year, it helped me shed about 4 pounds AND feel better but what does this mean?  If they work again, does that mean I have to take them forever?  Do I change how I’m eating and drop my calories more?  Cut out alcohol during one of the most festive times of the year?

I don’t feel like eating, I don’t feel like drinking because I feel like every bite, every sip is taking me that much closer to a place I don’t want to be.  Why I am I sharing my deepest, darkest, scariest thoughts right now?  Because if I feel this way, there MUST be others out there having those same fears, those same resentments, those same struggles.  Struggles of a Healthy Foodie have never felt more so than now.  At least not for a very long time.

I don’t know what the answer is except to keep trying to live my life the best way I know how.  But I know the way my brain works and it will be impossible not to obsess about this under something changes.  I just wish I knew what.

Office Casual

We recently received a communication from our CEO that our firm is moving ALL day, every day office casual!  I can’t believe it – I work in a rather conservative industry so it’s tough to believe that they are going to allow their employees to wear jeans every day now (as long as you don’t have any client meetings).  That, coupled with my insanely warm office, drove me in search of stylish, yet lighter pieces for the office for winter.  I have warmer, thick sweaters and layers but I find myself stripped down to my base layer more often than not these days.  People keep telling me it will get cooler but while I wait, I decided I needed some options to not boil to death at my desk all day!

So, I hit up my go to spot, Charming Charlie’s, with my niece on Saturday and I was able to pick up these beautiful options for a ridiculous low price!

First up, this Mid V Neck Chevron shirt in a gorgeous blue. It fits. . .oddly but after playing around with it a little bit, I decided to step out of my comfort zone and give it a try.  It looks amazing on, blue is one of my favorite colors and after much searching, I found a scarf very similar to this one, to pair with it.

CC 1.jpg


CC 2

Then, I have a closet full of purple and burgundy but these 2 shirts were too cheap to just pass up.  The first one is a ribbed knit pullover and after searching the store 50 times, I just could not find a scarf to match.  Fortunately, in a flurry of Christmas shopping the other week, I picked up a scarf to gift to someone and lo and behold, it matches this shirt so Merry Christmas to ME!


The final shirt again, fits a little odd but is a beautiful layer and will look great with dress pants or jeans, for the office.



Total price for all of these items, with a $10 off coupon I had, was only $50, including TAX!  WOW!

So, I have some go to items to get me through the beginning part of winter then hoping for some cute blazers from Stitch Fix in my December 11th shipment.  I saw this blazer in a recent Stitch Fix blog and this is exactly what I am looking for – bright colors, fitted, cropped and again, would look good with dress pants or dress up a pair of jeans.

SF Blazer

Hope you all have a great Turkey Day and while you are hopefully, enjoying some time off, if you would like to try Stitch Fix for yourself, please consider using my referral link below.  I will receive a $25 credit on your first shipment!  Thanks so much for reading!

Looking Forward to Fix #8!

I have a long way to go – my next shipment isn’t set to approve until Friday, December 11th for a couple of reasons.  First, that  weekend of December is just nuts for me and second, I actually have December 11th off so I will have a little longer to play with some looks once I get my Fix.  Thanksgiving is next week and we will have family in town, tons of get togethers then month end at work starts the week after that so figured I better start thinking about what I want next month NOW.  Here is my Stylist Note, so far:

“Looking for a pair of winter white pants to pair with colorful, festive sweaters for the holidays. Need casual and also more business appropriate light sweaters for pulled together, yet comfortable looks at the office and at home. Would love some fun looks with a top and scarf pairing to wear with leggings and boots for nights out. I would like to request Hannah as my stylist again. Loved her ideas, suggestions and fun attitude!”

I’ve been trying to sit down with Pinterest and get some ideas of specific items I’m looking for but has anyone else noticed that Stitch Fix hasn’t been updating their Pinterest page with specific items very much lately?  Its fine to pin general looks you find but I feel like if you can pin specific Stitch Fix items, it gives them a better idea of what to look for and send you.  I am going to keep at it though if anything, just to give me some ideas of looks I would like to put together myself this weekend.  I did a great job of updating my wardrobe for fall and have a lot of fun things but now it is time to start thinking about winter and the holidays.  I admit, I have some things I’ve bought that I haven’t even worn yet because believe it or not, it hasn’t gotten cold enough yet!  November 18th in northern Indiana and I can’t wear my poncho cardigan because I would sweat to death in it.  It’s still 60 degrees and rain today, though it looks like this warm weather is finally on its way out tonight and tomorrow.

I need to comb the November Stitch Fix blogs and see what others have gotten and liked too.  The few I have seen, seem to always have some kind of draped/poncho sweater.  I almost put on my stylist note not to include these but I need to be a little more adventurous and see what they come up with.  They have to be learning by now, just how small I am and how certain styles can just drown me.   They look so good on other people so maybe if I could get one proportioned just right, I would love it.  I wear this super lightweight burgundy draped cardigan I got in Fix #6 all the time and get tons of compliments on it and I can honestly say if they hadn’t sent it, I would never have picked out something like it myself.

SF 21

See?? That’s the most fun thing about Stitch Fix, isn’t it?  Trying new things and having someone else make suggestions, give you permission to get a little nutty?  I will admit, I got scolded and called out on the Stitch Fix Facebook page for giving someone the instructions on how to peek at their Fix before they received it but some of us are like kids on Christmas morning – we just cannot WAIT that long!

So, over 3 LONG weeks to go so I will have to get online and live vicariously through all of you as you get your end of November and beginning of December Fixes!

Would you like to try Stitch Fix for yourself?  Just go online and fill out a questionnaire about your size and style preferences then scheduled your shipment today.  Use my referral link below to sign up and I will get a $25 credit on your first shipment.  You only pay a $20 styling fee, will receive 5 items in the mail to try on at home and send back the items you don’t like.  You only need to buy one thing from your shipment and your styling fee is put towards the purchase of that item.  Get online, Google their clothes – they are beautiful and fun!

Eat to Perform – Week 6

Week 6 has unceremoniously come and gone and again, it’s because I have no progress to report.  My husband keeps asking me if I feel any different yet and so far, the only good news I have to report is that I am sleeping better.  He says, that’s a step in the right direction so I can recover from my workouts and be better rested to push myself harder in my workouts.  OK – I am TRYING, I swear but I feel like I have a few things working against me.

First, something I haven’t really brought up because it’s the most ridiculous injury known to man but I have hurt both of my big toes.  I have no idea why but off and on, I get the worst ingrown toenails from my normal shoes that I have worn for years and years and never had any issues and they seem to hurt the worst after a really tough workout, particularly Crossfit.  This has been plaguing me for about a month now and I keep thinking, WOW, I feel old!  Washed up now at 42?  I have heard older people complain about various aches and pains and have thought to myself, those sound like a lot of excuses and now, I find myself saying the same thing.

I haven’t been that diligent in taking care of it.  I know there are things I can do like soak my feet, put hydrogen peroxide on it to keep it from getting infected (which I think it does slightly, from time to time, hence the off and on pain) but life keeps me pretty darn busy and I don’t take the time to do it.  I am bordering on going to the doctor to have him take a look, to make sure there is nothing else I should be doing but honestly, not sure what he could really do for me.

Next, I worry that some of these diet changes could be affecting my health adversely.  Things I have avoided for years – egg yolks, milk with fat in it, lots of cheese, higher fat meats, all because Eat to Perform says you need the optimum balance of protein, carbs and fat and I’m sorry, there is no good way to get it, get ENOUGH without adding all of these things.  Of course, I realistically understand I haven’t given myself high cholesterol or heart disease in a month and a half but is this way of eating really “healthier”?

I must point out – Eat to Perform hasn’t specifically said to eat these things.  In fact, like I mentioned in my last post, their main author says he eats mostly meat and veggies.  OK, unless you are eating nothing but fish and chicken, you are going to get some higher fat meats in there, especially if that is your total diet.  I just can’t eat like that – I need variety, I need choices every day to get the grams of protein, fat and carbs I need and I think I have found a lot of great, go to options.  It just includes all of the things I mentioned above and also more nuts, especially almonds, protein shakes, drinks and bars and I keep searching for ways to add healthier meats like fish – tuna, salmon, etc.

All of these changes – increasing my calories, a different mix of calories and again, my weight and body fat hasn’t increased but it hasn’t decreased either and lower body fat is my goal.  In all honesty, I haven’t changed my calories intake THAT much.  My goal before was 1,400 a day, which I was always slightly over, depending on my workout for that day and right now, I am shooting for around 1,800 so realistically, only about 200-300 more calories a day than before but like a lot of these Eat to Perform articles talk about, I have been trained over the years to think in order to lose weight, I need to eat less and less.  We all know that – you have to burn more calories than you take in, simple as that.  Well, Eat to Perform complicates that, blurs that line by telling you your body isn’t getting the fuel it needs if you are just relying on trackers like Fitbit to tell you how many calories you burn each day.  It doesn’t take into account step intensity, workout intensity, heart rate (though some trackers do offer this now), etc that can point to you burning more calories than you think.

I am trying to kick my workouts up a notch – pushing the mph on the treadmill, increasing the weight or reps in my free weight workout and even just increasing my weight workouts but so far – NOTHING.  Here is how my weight has tracked for the year and it is frustrating to see that line just steadily climb.  As we approach the holidays, I worry that this is just going to keep going higher.

Weight Nov 2015

SIGH.  I am going to keep at it.  3 months puts me at December 31st, or there abouts and if nothing changes or I have gained more weight or body fat, this all goes out the window and go back to what I was doing before.  Maybe I will treat myself and invest in a Fitbit Charge HR so I get a more accurate calorie burning count.  I have had the Fitbit Flex for a year and a half now and it’s probably ready to be retired.  Technology improves and changes and I am ready to change with it.  I know, I know – I just need to keep telling myself do I feel fit, do I feel healthy, do I feel good and the answer to that right now is yes but I just have a tough time accepting this extra spare tire around my middle.  THAT does NOT feel like me at all.

So, I plug on.  On another note, for those waiting for a fashion update, my next Fix is set for Friday, December 11th.  I will be posting an update on what I ask for and items I’ve seen that caught my eye soon!

Taking All the Fun Out of Dining Out

I dine out – a lot.  I don’t always make it a giant extravaganza, it may just be apps and a drink with friends, a sushi roll, a sandwich.  But, being the foodie I am, more often than not, I want to try a LOT of things and last night was no exception.

I watch what I eat every day – track my calories, my grams of fat, protein and carbs and I stay within the limits as directed by Eat to Perform.  I am usually a little low on my fat, a little high on my carbs or protein but very rarely by a lot.  I drink a lot . . .OK, I’m not alcoholic but I like a drink with my meal or to unwind at the end of a long day.  I have cut back to 4 or 5 nights a week and when I do, usually have just 1.  Sweets are my enemy #1 and if I were doing anything to sabotage my efforts, I would guess I still eat too much sugar.  I still stay within my carbs for the day when I have a little piece of cake, a couple of pieces of dark chocolate or that half a donut but I WILL eat it.

So, last night, I go out with a very good friend of mine, who hasn’t been out in a while and I want to really treat her (i.e. US).  I want to breakdown what I ate for you to show you how quickly it all can add up, even when you are really trying to be careful:

Appetizers:  I ordered the caprese salad, which is one of my favorite dishes. I could eat one every day.  I track all of my calories through and a middle of the road caprese salad is 320 calories and I ate half of it so starting with 160 calories.

Next, my dining companion got the always delicious spinach and artichoke dip, which I think we all can agree, ain’t the best for you and can be even worse depending on the ratio of cheese to veggies. . .and this one was very cheese heavy.  I only had 1 small piece of French bread (104 calories) with the dip on top, which I estimated at 197 calories and 17 grams of fat for a total of 300 calories for just one serving and this dish came with 8 pieces of bread and a giant bowl of dip.

Drink:  To wash all of this down and to relax with my friend at the end of a VERY long work day, I ordered a plain, vodka martini with 3 small blue cheese stuffed olives – a total of 150 calories.

Entrée:  I ordered the chicken marsala, to get my protein in and instead of pasta, got a side of red potatoes instead, which I would like to note – did NOT eat.  A giant platter of 2 large chicken breasts comes out with tons of sauce and the potatoes under it and I only have half of one chicken breast.  Looking up chicken marsala, I choose a 5 ounce serving, which may be a little high but I always err on the side of caution, for a total of 180 calories.

Dessert:  I adore the gelato from this restaurant so I asked them to bring me just one small scoop of their vanilla salted caramel gelato.  Only half a cup of this delicious stuff is 170 calories and I left a little in the bowl so giving myself a break and shaved a little off that to come up with 136 calories for my serving.

Anyone add all that up yet?  A salad with mozzerela, tomatoes and basil, one piece of bread with spinach and artichoke dip, a martini, half a chicken breast and a tiny little cup of gelato?  998 calories!!!  Almost 1,000 calories in one meal when I only get 1,800 calories in a day.

I was shocked when I got home and finally added it all up.  I knew it was a lot of items but I thought I had done really good on my portions.  How did I come in for the day on my food goals?  Only about 200 calories over, which was made up mostly of extra fat and carbs.

*sigh*  So, not a good day but you know what?  When you are SO careful every other day, you feel like you should be able to splurge a little like that every once in a while.  I think that’s the biggest problems with diets, eating plans, etc – the deprivation makes you feel like you are owed something you avoid because let’s face it, it just isn’t that good for you.

This guy who came up with Eat to Perform admits he almost exclusively eats meat and veggies.  Hmmmm, is that really a good diet for someone to have SO little variety?  Yet, I can’t help but keep wondering why this plan has been SO unsuccessful for me.  Am my workouts not intense enough?  Are my cheat days like this one I’ve described, too frequent?  Or is my body just changing and making it tougher to get and keep weight off than it did before? I hate using that last one as an excuse – I’m a women, my hormones are crazy, I’m short, I’m 42. . .SO WHAT!  That doesn’t mean I can’t keep at it, keep trying to stay as fit as possible, keep up my workouts and just do the best I can to put good things in my body.  I may not be a meat and veggie eating machine, I may have this extra 5 pounds on my gut and ass that flat out REFUSES to budge but I do feel like I am doing the best I can and still have the life I want to live.

What about you???

EDIT:  Ha ha – if you actually did the math above on my dinner, it doesn’t equal 1,000 calories because I forgot one item.  I also got soup with my meal and picked Italian Wedding Soup, which isn’t particular high calorie or fat but it was a giant bowl!  I only ate half of it, which added an additional 85 calories to my meal.  THERE, I think that about does it.

Eat To Perform – Week 5

Nope, nothing.  I feel like a broken record here and one magical day, I am going to wake up and whatever is supposed to be happening on this program will have started.  5 weeks and we aren’t there yet.  Here is the breakdown for ya:

Days on program:  35

Days tracking food:  29

Days ended low on protein goal:  7 (less than 95 grams, shooting for 100-110)

Weight change in 5 weeks:  +.3 pound

Body Fat change in 3 weeks:  0% change

And here are my workouts for the past week:

Monday, November 2nd– 40 minutes of Pilates

Tuesday, November 3rd:  Break day

Weds, November 4th:  40 minutes of Crossfit with personal trainer

Thurs, November 5th:  40 minutes on treadmill, 3.5 average mph

Friday, November 6th:  Break day

Saturday, November 7th:  3 hours of shopping with friend plus housework, Total Daily Steps = 10,885

Sunday, November 8th – Day of house work plus 30 minutes on treadmill at 3.4 mph (I was tired and just couldn’t go any faster).  Total Daily Steps = 14,937

Should errands or house work count as exercise?  Probably not but when you have a desk job like me, anything that gets you up and moving is a good thing.  It isn’t specifically working on building any muscle but is still tiring, just the same.

I actually saw the scale hit the highest weight and the highest body fat I’ve had a in a long, long time so like I mentioned last week, I worry that this new program isn’t working.  Eat to Perform posts at least 3 articles a day on their Facebook page but look out!  Don’t try and ask them anything or tips from other users or people trying to same program because they want you to pay $9.95 a month for the training tips and meal plan.  Not a huge expense, especially when you can just pay $50 for the whole year, if you do it at one time but I am just not ready to make that commitment yet.

First, I don’t plan to make working out my career.  I am not looking to compete at Crossfit gyms, I don’t plan to run a marathon.  Or a half marathon.  Or even a 5K any time soon. I know I could do better on my eating (Halloween candy is ALMOST gone!) but compared to 90% of the population, I am guessing I do pretty damn good.  I refuse to give up nights out with my friends, I refuse to give up certain foods as bad forever and Eat to Perform says you don’t have to do that.  Hmmm…you definitely have to be doing SOMETHING different than what I am to get results or I would think I would have seen something by now.

I have been keeping my calories right around the target their calculator give me, working really hard to keep my protein grams up and even had a mini melt down in Costco when I ran out of my favorite protein shakes and the line was 6 people deep to get a membership with no end in sight.  The point is – I’m trying.

So, I plug on but feel like I need to make some adjustments to make this work – I’m just not sure exactly what.  I don’t feel like I have a tremendously more energy for my workouts than I did before, to push myself harder.  In fact, when I went to my first boot camp class in about a month on Weds, I was hobbling around like a 90 year old woman for THREE DAYS, my ass and legs hurt so bad.  The trainer said, oh the muscle soreness and fatigue just tells you it’s working.  So, I’m supposed to feel like crap in order to be stronger in the long run?  And what happens if I don’t keep this up?  Does it all go to hell in a hand basket and I basically go right back to where I started if I am side lined with an illness or injury for a few weeks?

I don’t know – I will always work out regularly, I will always watch what I eat and try to make good choices but it is all about how far you are willing to go, how many changes you are willing to permanently make in your life to be as healthy as possible.   Should I give up drinking alcohol altogether?  Is that what’s holding me back – my 1 drink a day average? I wish I knew the magic formula but all I can do is keep at it and hope this body gets in gear soon.

I pulled out a pair of pants I hadn’t wore in a good 3 weeks this morning for work and I tell you what, I had a tough time buttoning them.  They are on but definitely tighter than they were when I bought them a month or 2 ago.  I guess that’s what frustrating me most of all?  Am I actually hurting myself right now, rather than helping?